By Robynn Moraites and Cathy Killian
In the context of hurricanes, a “wind field” refers to the spatial distribution of winds around the eye of the storm. Think of it like a “blast radius.” It includes both the hurricane-force winds, which can extend from about 25 to 150 miles from the center, as well as the tropical-storm-force winds, which can reach hundreds of miles from the center. Hurricane Helene had an unusually large wind field of 345 miles. That 345-mile-wide wind field cut a path of physical destruction through our beloved western North Carolina. The emotional impact and traumatic toll indicate a much wider wind field: the entire state of North Carolina.
Certainly, as I write this column (two weeks post-Helene), hundreds of thousands of – maybe a million – people are still in the acute-emergency, disaster-recovery phase, without power, Internet, cell phone, and/or water service. Maybe by the time you read this column in the Journal (early December), most services will have been restored. Water is going to take a lot longer. Even longer than that? The emotional recovery.
Cathy Killian, our clinical director, has broad experience in disaster response, which began in the aftermath of hurricane Hugo that decimated Charlotte in 1989. When Hugo hit Charlotte, it was devastating. The emotional impact was also devastating for many people because the extent of the damage was so unexpected. It caught everybody off guard. It was only after the fact that the powers-that-be could see the vulnerability of the city’s infrastructure – much like they are experiencing now with Asheville’s water system and roads across the western region that have been washed away.
Cathy was assigned to a task force established after Hugo to examine Charlotte’s vulnerabilities including future disaster preparedness and recovery. Much of this column’s content is taken from her observations from those early post-Hugo task force years. We are also providing tips if you are supporting someone emotionally who was directly or indirectly impacted by the storm.
Tip: If you are talking to someone who was impacted by the storm and you don’t know what to say or feel awkward because you have not been impacted as badly (or at all), it is perfectly okay to say, “I don’t know what to say.” Just listening or being with the person is enough. If you’re communicating by text message, a simple, “I’m thinking about you,” goes a long way to helping the person feel supported.
The emotional recovery from a disaster of this magnitude comes in stages and layers, and to understand it you need to know about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. See Figure 1. Basic needs include physiological needs like food, water, and shelter as well as safety and security needs, like a source of income, structure, order, physical safety, and access to resources. Maslow posited that lower-level needs must be largely satisfied before higher-level needs can be pursued or addressed. It becomes obvious when looking at the Hierarchy of Needs that people are not worried about self-actualization and self-esteem when they don’t have food, water, shelter, income, or physical safety.
In fact, people cannot begin to process the emotions that come with an event of this magnitude until they feel safe and secure enough to do so. As I write this column, and possibly as you read it, huge swaths of the western region are still in the process of re-establishing these basic needs in their lives. Having some information about when their power might be restored, options for financial assistance, organizations that can provide services… helps them deal with the survival emotions involved, which get activated when our safety and security are jeopardized. So, while providing information and resources is an obvious practical priority, it is an emotional priority as well that can move them in the direction of stability.
Tip: If you were directly impacted by the storm, we urge you to not make any major life decisions for at least six weeks. It takes much longer for the hyper-adrenalized, fight-or-flight response to leave our system than seems reasonable to our logical lawyer minds. When we are in a heightened fight-or-flight response, we are not thinking clearly but do not necessarily realize it. How do we know when the hyper-adrenalized response has passed? We crash with exhaustion. This is normal. Rest. Give yourself time to adjust.
Tip: Be patient with yourself and/or loved ones who were impacted by this natural disaster. Their need for security may cause them to be emotionally dysregulated, irritable, and tired. Give yourself and others time to reacclimate to their environment, needs, and emotions. Some folks may need help to even assess what they need in this early phase. They may struggle to focus and at times be unable to listen to you. It is more important that you listen to them, which may be what they need the most at that moment. Help them find essential resources, such as the information on Congressman Edwards’ website (which lists the places where one can get all the basics) https://edwards.house.gov/services/hurricane-helene-resources. Assist them in identifying where they can stay if they cannot stay in their home. Help them find out if others are safe and/or assist them in notifying others that they are safe. Remaining calm yourself and helping them to stay calm is essential.
Once the initial shock wears off and folks are safe – which could take weeks or even months in the hardest hit areas – the personal impact begins to set in, whether it’s a complete loss of everything or just a loss of minor things. To the outside observer, reactions to catastrophic loss makes sense, whereas the reactions from someone who is seemingly spared or minimally impacted may not. Relatively minor losses can bring a sense of relief and gratitude, but the realization that it could have been everything makes it almost as difficult to initially process as if they had lost it all.
Tip: If you are supporting someone in this early phase, do not minimize their losses or try to change their perspective. Do not encourage gratitude that they could have lost more. Avoid encouraging them to focus on the positive, as it will come off as dismissive and invalidating of their experience, potentially jeopardizing your relationship. The best approach is to listen and ask what you can do to help them establish a sense of normalcy. As an example, if you have a second home, offer to let them use it for a little while to escape the on-the-ground chaos and get a reprieve. Don’t have a second home? Do you have a spare guestroom that you could offer someone for a weekend? Do you have water supplied by a well? Offer a hot shower. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours. These seemingly small things are a huge help. The point here is to focus on what you can contribute rather than urging them to look on the bright side.
Tip: If you have a spare office at your law firm, offer it to a displaced lawyer. We have heard about larger firms in the Piedmont and Eastern regions of the state offering conference rooms for displaced lawyers to use as offices.
There are two aftermaths: immediate and long-term.
In the immediate aftermath, our greatest virtue emerges. Communities and neighborhoods band together to help each other in remarkable ways. We are hearing firsthand accounts of this throughout the region. “A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster” by Rebecca Solnit (published 2009) explores the well-established, documented response of people coming together to help each other in the immediate aftermath of major disasters, such as 9/11, highlighting the altruism, solidarity, and mutual aid that emerge in such situations. It is the same kind of altruism that motivates people from across the country to donate supplies to victims.
But then the long-term aftermath kicks in, which brings an altogether different emotional landscape. Press coverage dies down. The national focus turns elsewhere. Maybe the National Guard leaves the area. Actually dealing with the mundane, practical stuff comes next. This is where we will see a lot of anger and frustration, often directed at whomever is in front of us/them. Just like during COVID, having to do things so drastically differently from what we are accustomed to is a difficult adjustment to begin with. Inevitably, people realize that whatever they are doing temporarily has become unsustainable – so more adjustments are needed. This can wear out even the most resilient among us.
There are never enough general contractors, carpenters, electricians, tree people, etc. to go around, and the ones that are available are focused on larger problems (or highest paying opportunities). They aren’t going to focus on or attend to the smaller repairs and things that many people need, especially given the hundreds and hundreds of miles of huge problems. Impatience and frustration are common reactions.
After Hurricane Hugo, many complained about having to clean up their yards on their own because their yard person didn’t have time (was busier with bigger projects, etc.). But that fact alone turned out to be a positive thing that allowed – rather forced – people to feel like they had some control over things. Just like COVID, that feeling having no control is one of the most difficult aspects to deal with.
A few days after Helene, I spoke with a district bar president who had cell service. She relayed a story about a lawyer she knew who was busy cutting his grass while we were on the phone. It may seem counterintuitive because one’s first thought might be, who cares about how your lawn looks when the whole world has been flipped upside down? But it isn’t about how the lawn looks. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? We all have a basic need for safety and security, established through order and routine. Controlling the things that we can control, doing the things we can do to create a feeling of normalcy, goes a long way toward establishing that sense of safety and security.
Tip: If you were affected by the storm and your world is upside down, keeping your same routine is one of the positive things you can do. For example, wake up at the same time every day, even if you aren’t going to work. This helps foster a small sense of “normalcy” and comfort. Given the extent of the devastation, the act of rebuilding, cleaning, and repairing may feel overwhelming – even paralyzing for some people to know where to start. Help your friends and loved ones with identifying small, achievable goals to chip away at the recovery process. This way, they won’t feel pressure to take care of everything all at once. Helping folks devise an action plan is very helpful, as it gives them something positive to do and can help them set realistic expectations. Devising a plan and acting on systematically not only feels productive, but also aids in keeping folks focused in the moment (a form of mindfulness) and helps quell the anxiety. Doing what we can do, while remaining flexible to adapt our plans to changing circumstances, helps us feel more in control and bolsters our feelings of stability and security.
With a crisis of this magnitude, it can be difficult to determine when the invisible line is crossed where it becomes okay – and no longer invalidating – to give a “pep talk.” Suffice it to say, that time is not right now. Down the road apiece, from a resilience perspective, getting folks to change their perspective to be more positive is helpful. Here is where resilience tools, like gratitude lists, can help.
Tip: When the time is right, look for opportunities to help others see the glass as half-full. For example, helping a friend to see that rather than staying upset about the damage done to their house, they have an opportunity to finally redo that kitchen.
In the long-term aftermath, once people’s basic needs have been met and they feel secure, they will be dealing with a lot of trauma and grief. People will be grieving various losses, from the tangible/visible (i.e., a house, a neighborhood) to the intangible/less visible (i.e., retirement plans). With grief, everyone processes their emotions differently and moves at their own pace.
I want to take a minute to address those who were not in the path of Helene’s physical destruction but who also have been affected by the wider wind field: those of us in other parts of the state who also feel devastated and traumatized by the destruction. We have lawyers in other parts of the state who did not hear from loved ones for a week to ten days and who could not drive to check on them due to road conditions. Other lawyers have adult children who are first responders in the area, exposed to really traumatic and heartbreaking circumstances day in and day out, who will undoubtedly be facing their own secondary/vicarious trauma and PTSD. Talk about feeling powerless. LAP volunteers and clients have banded together to support each other in incredible ways and to reinforce use of recovery tools to stay sane and grounded in the face of grave uncertainty. But Helene’s impact did not stop there.
In ever-expanding concentric circles, Helene’s emotional wind field extends still further, ensnaring those of us who have fond memories of time spent in the mountains with friends and family, at weddings, at spiritual retreats, and certainly at legal conferences. In so many ways, the legal community resembles a big family of sorts. To date, we have heard of the tragic passing of two lawyers due to the storm, Michael Drye of Asheville/Buncombe County and Joseph Hoyle of Kings Mountain/Cleveland County. These lawyers were well-known not only in their home judicial district but across the state. We are all stunned and grieving the loss of these colleagues, as well as our beloved mountain towns. One of the biggest challenges moving forward is accepting that things will never be the same again and adjusting to the “new normal.”
Tip: Adjusting to the new normal is difficult and takes time. It is imperative to allow everyone (including ourselves) to grieve accordingly. The worst thing we can do is tell someone (or ourselves) that we should or shouldn’t feel a certain way (or expect it all to be processed in a certain timeframe). Affirming our or others’ feelings is the beginning of processing them. This kind of devastating loss, stemming from a natural disaster, often creates what is known as “complicated grief”. It can look or feel like being emotionally frozen or stuck, but it’s not. It takes considerable time to process through all the layers of loss. It is okay and perfectly normal if you find you need professional help to navigate this experience. LAP’s licensed clinicians can provide support around grief and loss and/or refer you to appropriate resources. There is also information about grief and loss on our website.
To assist with the longer-term emotional processing and recovery, we will be contacting elected bar councilors and district bar presidents to offer and schedule facilitated disaster/crisis debrief sessions across the western region in the coming months. These sessions will bring lawyers together and provide a safe, structured way to process the event in a non-judgmental, mutually supportive atmosphere. We offer direct counseling and are also working with BarCARES to provide counseling referrals by Zoom (i.e., telehealth) for counselors based in the Piedmont and down east. It will take some time for everyone to get their bearings. Please do not hesitate to contact us and we will work to get you the mental health resources you need.
To reach us, visit www.nclap.org. Cathy Killian, LAP counselor covering the western region, can be reached at 704-910-2310 or Cathy@nclap.org.
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